Reflecting

Stumbled upon this awesome post by The Hippie Housewife on, in a sense, the means and ends of parenting.  It's a question I've been wrestling with this week, particularly since I've had "Friday patience" since Wednesday.  I've been struggling with losing my patience, my perspective, my sense of fairness when I'm exhausted and she's exhausted and everyone is just not getting along.  ...And neither one of us is doing the best we can. 

I guess, in these times, it's important to be reflective.  To take a breather.  To remind myself that I am capable of better.  To remember what I ultimately feel to be right or wrong for me, as MJ's parent. To think about my most deeply held values.  To think about what values I am expressing and teaching my child through my actions, and what kind of love.

 When I'm frustrated and I equate "what works" with what is also right, this is a good reminder:
 
"Parenting for results [is] focusing on the wrong questions... 'How can I make her listen to me?  'How can I get him to do what I want?'  'How can I make her stop doing that?' ... We focus on our desires and lose sight of what we believe to be true.  ...Whatever our desires, however noble our purposes, there is one question that must accompany them all: Are my actions the right actions?
Not will it work, but is it right? In so many other words,

Is this the right choice in this moment?
Does this decision line up with my values?

Many things will achieve my goals, but far fewer things are Good and Right.

Putting on her angelic face. =)

Goals are good. They give us direction for the journey. But when the question of how to achieve them becomes the ultimate question, we too easily lose perspective. Those questions must always be balanced by that one question, is this right?".

Here's to each miraculous chance to do a little better tomorrow.  Much love baby girl.